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Hello, sinners.

 

They say healing is a journey. Mine involved gasoline and a lighter.

 

Welcome to Self-Care for Sociopaths, a new Psycho-R-Us wellness initiative hosted by yours truly—Inferno. You may know me from such spectacular life events as Midnight Masquerade, Blood & Brimstone, and most recently... Employee of the Year. But before I became the face of flame, I was just another broken soul drowning in diesel fumes and denial.

 

Now? I wake up each morning engulfed in the cleansing fires of purpose.

 

Let me walk you through a sample routine:

 

☀️ Inferno’s Morning Routine

 

5:00 AM – Wake up in a tub of ice water. Not for health. For trauma flashbacks.

5:03 AM – Scream into void. Smile when it screams back.

 

5:15 AM – Fuel body with protein (charred meat optional, long pig preferred).

 

5:30 AM – Affirmations in the mirror:

“You are not a victim.”

“You are the fire.”

“Justice can burn too.”

 

6:00 AM – Sparring session with clowns. Zonk cheats. Gory doesn’t.

 

6:30 AM – Light someone’s secrets on fire.

 

Because healing isn’t always breathwork and bath bombs.

 

Sometimes it’s blood, vengeance, and a damn good fire starter.

 

You’re not broken. You’re just pre-incineration.

 

– Inferno 🔥